The Symptoms of ADHD in Children: What I Wish More Parents Knew Sooner
By Lizzie Shearing (SENCo at Learning DNA)
When a parent first sits down with me, they almost never open with the word ADHD. They open with a story. He cannot sit still long enough to eat dinner. She forgets her PE kit three days running and then cries because she thinks she is stupid. Homework that should take twenty minutes turns into a two hour battle that leaves everyone in tears.
What they are describing, very often, are the symptoms of ADHD in children. And one of the hardest parts of my job is hearing how long families have been carrying this on their own, wondering if they are doing something wrong, before anyone said out loud that there might be a reason for it.
So I want to walk you through what ADHD actually looks like day to day. Not the textbook version, the real one.
ADHD is not just a busy, bouncy child
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder shows up in three broad ways. Most children lean towards one or two of these rather than all of them.
Inattention. This is the quiet one, and the one that gets missed the most. A child who drifts off mid sentence. Who starts things and rarely finishes them. Who loses their water bottle, their coat and their reading book in the same week. Who looks like they are listening but cannot tell you a word you just said. It is not that they are not trying. Their attention simply does not settle where they want it to.
Hyperactivity. This is the one most people picture. Always on the go, climbing, fidgeting, talking non stop, struggling to play quietly. In a classroom it can look like a child who is up out of their seat before the teacher has finished the instruction.
Impulsivity. Acting before thinking. Blurting out answers, interrupting, struggling to wait for a turn, big feelings that arrive fast and pass fast. These children are often the kindest in the room and also the ones who end up in trouble most, which is a painful combination.
A young boy with ADHD having 1:1 support
How it looks different from child to child
Here is something I really want parents to hear. ADHD does not look the same in every child, and it very often looks different in girls.
A lot of girls with ADHD are not bouncing off the walls. They are daydreamy, anxious, hard on themselves, brilliant at masking how much they are struggling until they get home and fall apart. Because they are not disruptive, they fly under the radar for years. By the time anyone suggests an ADHD assessment, they have often decided the problem is them.
I see the same with bright children of any gender. They are clever enough to compensate at school, so no one raises a flag, but the effort it takes is exhausting and it usually shows up as worry, low mood or meltdowns at home.
Home and school can tell two different stories
It is very common for the picture at home to look nothing like the picture at school, and that gap causes a lot of doubt. A teacher says your child is fine. You know that fine child collapses the moment they walk through the front door.
Both things can be true. Holding it together all day is hard work, and many children spend every bit of self control they have getting through the school day. There is nothing left by home time. If that sounds familiar, trust what you see. You are not imagining it.
When to take a closer look
None of these signs on their own means a child has ADHD. Lots of children are forgetful or full of energy. What matters is the pattern, how long it has been going on, and whether it is getting in the way of their learning, their friendships or their happiness.
It is worth looking more closely if the difficulties show up in more than one place, have been there for at least six months, and feel bigger than you would expect for their age. ADHD also travels alongside other things quite often, including autism, dyslexia and anxiety, which is exactly why we look at the whole child rather than one label at a time.
What you can actually do next
This is the part I most want you to take away, because waiting and worrying helps no one.
You do not have to jump straight to a diagnosis. A good first step is simply talking it through with someone who looks at the full picture. At Learning DNA we offer a free twenty minute call where you can tell us what is going on and we help you work out whether an assessment makes sense.
If you do want to move forward, there are a few routes:
1. A private ADHD assessment for your child, carried out by our clinical team, with clear timescales rather than an open ended wait.
2.The NHS Right to Choose pathway, which lets some families access an NHS funded autism or ADHD assessment through an approved provider. The rules around this change and availability comes and goes, so it is worth checking what is open at the time you ask.
3. Support while you wait. If your child is already on a CAMHS waiting list, you do not have to sit on your hands until your turn comes. Speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, educational psychology input and simple practical strategies can all help right now, before any formal diagnosis is in place.
The thing I really want you to know
A child who cannot focus, cannot sit still or cannot hold their feelings in is not a naughty child or a lazy child. They are a child whose brain works differently and who is very likely working harder than anyone realises just to keep up.
Understanding why is the moment everything starts to change. Once you know what you are dealing with, you can stop fighting your child and start backing them, and so can their school.
If any of this sounds like your son or daughter, you are welcome to book a free twenty minute call with us. No pressure, no labels first, just a proper conversation about what your child needs.
This article is for information and is not a diagnosis. If you are worried about your child, please speak to a qualified professional or your GP.